3 Things When Christmas is Hard

What do you do when Christmas is hard? What do you do when your bills are stacked higher than the presents under your tree?

What do you do when you are spending your days in the doctor’s office rather than at the mall?

What do you do when there is nothing to sing about?

What do you do when there is no family to come home?

What do you do when Christmas is hard? What do you do?

You know, Christmas is not the most wonderful time of the year for some people.  For many folks, holiday greetings are holiday groanings and every bit of Christmas cheer has disappeared from their lives.

And so, if you are one of those lonely, discouraged people this December … I am writing this blog for you. I hope that my feeble words will some how encourage you to take a deep breath, to look beyond the holiday trappings and then to listen … just listen … for the music of the season. If you can’t join in the song … perhaps at least … you can listen.

If Christmas is hard rather than happy for you this year, may I suggest just a few healthy options for you to embrace? It was only two years ago that I was walking through the hardest Christmas of my entire life. I had just been diagnosed with cancer and was spending my holiday season in doctor’s offices, hospitals, treatment facilities and having horrible tests.

However, I was determined to celebrate Christmas in the most meaningful way possible. I resolved not to allow the circumstances of my life to rob me of the joy that only Christmas brings. I didn’t want to waste one single day of this blessed season at a pity party that was thrown only for me.

Perhaps what I learned during my dark Christmas will help you with your “hard” this year.

First of all … be more aware of others than you are of your own pain or disappointment. Look at people’s faces and pray for them whether you are in a doctor’s office, in a line to apply for unemployment or are by yourself at the grocery store. Look at people’s faces and pray.

Make eye contact with all of the people who cross your pathway this year. And, after you have looked into their eyes, after you have breathed a short prayer of blessing, then do one more thing for me.

Smile. Just smile at someone else. Smile at a child. Smile at a lonely older person. Smile at a harried mother. Smile at a tattooed and pierced teenager. Smile at someone whose skin color is different than yours. Who knows? Maybe they are doing “hard” this Christmas as well. Maybe what they need is for you to simply smile and pray.

Can you invite a neighbor over for coffee and cookies? Can you make a lunch date with a childhood friend? If you are going to be alone on Christmas morning, invite another lonely person over and share breakfast together.

If your family lives far away and there will be no Christmas gathering this year, ask your pastor if there is a family at church who needs some extra love. Plan an evening of games, Christmas movies and shared treats. Who knows? They might need you more than you need them.

Secondly, be thankful. Be thankful for Christmases past and for the blessings of yesterday. Be thankful that you live in America and are allowed to celebrate the holy and sacred time of Christmas. Be thankful for the songs of the season and for the cards that you receive in the mail. Be thankful for your health, for food and for shelter.

If you can’t find the joy of Christmas … then every day just write down one thing for which you are thankful. I have learned that “thankfulness” and “joy” are not so very far apart.

Be thankful for a pet … for a phone call … for an e-mail … for a kind word from a stranger.

The third thing that will change your perspective on Christmas this year is the decision to be a giver. Give Christmas cookies to the children next door … give a twenty dollar bill to the young mom waiting in line … give a gift card to your pastor … and give your elderly aunt a phone call!

Giving is one of the most meaningful facets of this last month of the calendar year. 

Even if you know that no one is buying a gift for you … you can give of yourself to others. If you don’t have any money to buy gifts, then give of yourself. Give a family heirloom to your grandchild or a family recipe to your new daughter-in- law! Give one of your favorite books to the widow at church or volunteer to babysit for a single mom.

Clean the church … write an e-mail to a missionary … teach Sunday School … or give some time this month at the homeless shelter. There is an entire world out there that is doing “hard” this year and you can truly make it easier for at least one of them!

And if I could just gently suggest one more thing to you this Christmas season … go to church and worship. You will never truly experience Christmas in its glory and its richness without a sacred awareness of that Baby in the manger.

As you sit in the pew of a bedecked church, listen for the wonder. Listen to the ancient Words that the pastor reads from a Book that is alive with joy! Watch the children as they gather to hear about the shepherds and the angels. Join your voice with the voices of other weary pilgrims who are desperately in need of the Messiah Who has come.

And you know what? It’s o.k. if you cry … let the tears come. Jesus came for your “hard”. The reason He was born as a baby was to infiltrate your disappointment with His hope. He came to wash your discouragement away with His joy … and He came to give you a reason to sing again.

The words “hard” and “Christmas” are not mutually exclusive … they just happen to be … a perfect match! 

Carol McLeod
Carol says, “I am just a girl who is head over heels in love with Jesus ... passionately addicted to His Word ... and find all of the joy that I need in time spent in His presence." Carol is a Christmas-aholic, loves ACC basketball and the beach! Like all menopausal women, she is overly fond of chocolate and enjoys a good read. She doesn't like cleaning her house and is an expert in carry-out dinners. She hates to shop … loves to jog … and somehow finds time in her busy life to hang out with small children. She is the kind of woman that you could laugh with over lunch, cry with over disappointment and shout with over a victory! But … if you need her official bio … read on! Carol is an author and popular speaker at women's conferences and retreats, where she teaches the Word of God with great joy and enthusiasm. She also hosts highly successful Just Joy! outreaches. Carol encourages and empowers women with passionate and practical biblical messages mixed with her own special brand of hope and humor. Carol has written three books, "Holy Estrogen!", "The Rooms of a Woman's Heart" and "Defiant Joy!" which was released by a subsidiary of Thomas Nelson. Her teaching DVD, "The Rooms of a Woman's Heart", won the Telly Award, a prestigious industry award, for excellence in religious programming. Carol has also been featured on YouVersion (the smart phone Bible app) with several devotionals, including: "For the Journey Set Before Him", "Jolt of Joy", and "Joy to YOUR world", " Carol has a daily radio program, "Defiant Joy! Radio" which is available in several national markets including Youngsville PA, Warren PA, Buffalo NY, Roanoke VA, Norfolk VA, and Nashville TN.  A 1977 graduate of Oral Roberts University with a degree in Music and English, Carol has the distinction of being both the first Women's Chaplain and the first woman to speak at the university's Vespers.  Carol currently serves on the ORU Alumni Board as chaplain.  She is married to her college sweetheart and love of her life, Craig, who serves as senior pastor of Life Church, a church near Buffalo, NY.  Craig and Carol have been happily married for nearly 37 years and are the parents of five children and three delightful daughters-in-law. Craig and Carol are thrilled with the joy of being grandparents to five precious grandchildren! Carol has written three books, "Holy Estrogen!", "The Rooms of a Woman's Heart" and "Defiant Joy!" which was released by a subsidiary of Thomas Nelson. Her teaching DVD, "The Rooms of a Woman's Heart", won the Telly Award, a prestigious industry award, for excellence in religious programming. Carol has also been featured on YouVersion (the smart phone Bible app) with several devotionals, including: "For the Journey Set Before Him", "Jolt of Joy", and "Joy to YOUR world", " Carol has a daily radio program, "Defiant Joy! Radio" which is available in several national markets including Youngsville PA, Warren PA, Buffalo NY, Roanoke VA, Norfolk VA, and Nashville TN.  A 1977 graduate of Oral Roberts University with a degree in Music and English, Carol has the distinction of being both the first Women's Chaplain and the first woman to speak at the university's Vespers.  Carol currently serves on the ORU Alumni Board as chaplain.  She is married to her college sweetheart and love of her life, Craig, who serves as senior pastor of Life Church, a church near Buffalo, NY.  Craig and Carol have been happily married for nearly 37 years and are the parents of five children and three delightful daughters-in-law. Craig and Carol are thrilled with the joy of being grandparents to five precious grandchildren!
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