10 Things That Moms Must Teach Their Daughters

After having three lively, rambunctious, darling little boys … the Lord then gave us two lovely, peaceful daughters.  And let me just tell you from someone who knows … daughters are different than sons. 

They are, indeed. 

Raising sons took energy… raising daughters took creativity.

Raising sons required discipline… raising daughters required a winsome tenacity.

I loved doing both… being the mom of sons and of daughters … but the experience was different from start to finish and it continues to be so in the adult years!

Two weeks ago, I shared with you all how the Lord is stirring in my heart a new call to mentor the moms of a new generation. You can read that blog here.

Then, last week, I coached the mothers of sons and gave them 10 tips to raise their sons to be men of honor and integrity.  If you are interested in reading that blog, you can do so here.

Today … it is time for the mothers of daughters to lend me their ears. 

In the current culture of compromise and lackluster virtue, it is more important than ever to raise daughters who are bold, pure and filled with true identity. 

One mother has the power to revolutionize the next generation of women … and mom … you got the job!

1 – Teach your daughters the amazing virtue of kindness. Teach them to be kind to their grandparents, their siblings, their friends and to those who look different than they do. Teach your precious young women to use kind words, to have a kind expression on their faces and to use a kind inflection in their voice. When my girls were just toddlers, I taught them that, “It is more important to be kind than to be pretty.” Kindness may just be the virtue that enables your daughter to live a truly significant life.

2 – Teach your daughters from an early age that her body is not to be trifled with nor is her amazing body to be given to a boy before marriage. Let your little girls know that her body is perfect just the way that it is and as she gets older talk to her about protecting her body from the hands of others. Let your teenage daughter know that sex is beautiful within the glory of marriage and to wait for that wonderful moment.

3 – Your daughters don’t need designer clothes, pedicures at 5 years old, or $1,000 birthday parties. They need you, mom. They just need you.  They need your time and your laughter. They need your re-assurance and your joy. They need your attention and your encouragement. Don’t sacrifice true relationship with your daughter on the altar of materialism.

4 – Your daughters need positive and pure role models. Teach them about strong women like Elisabeth Elliot and Queen Esther. Talk to them about Deborah and about Joan of Arc. Have them read the biographies of Corrie ten Boom, Mother Theresa and Ruth Bell Graham. Minimize the influence of the role models that our culture presents.

5 – One of my goals as the mother of daughters was to keep them as innocent as I was able to as long as possible.  This was reflected in the movies and TV shows that we watched, the books that we read and the music that we listened to. We delighted in classic literature that taught moral virtues, in entertainment that was filled with ethical actions and fortitude, in music that filled our souls with cheerfulness and joy.

6 – Teach your daughters the value of a dollar: teach her that tithing is a blessing and that saving is noble. This may be the greatest gift that you give to her future husband and family.

7. – Teach your precious daughter to dress modestly. She can be incredibly stylish and still be modest. This starts at a very young age. Craig and I decided that if our daughters never wore a 2-piece bathing suit as a toddler we would never have to decided when it was no longer appropriate.   

8. – Talk to your daughters from an early age about their emotional responses to life. Let them know that an emotional response is not always the healthiest response. Emotions are real and powerful and can oftentimes lead us astray in the decisions we make. Coach your daughter to make decisions based upon principle rather than upon feelings.

9.  – Teach your daughter to dream! Let her know that the sky is the limit and that she and the Lord are the captains of her glorious ship! If she loves to paint – take her to art museums and expose her to the great artists of history. If she loves music – keep music playing throughout your home all day long.  If she loves children – let her volunteer in the church nursery as soon as she is able. If she loves the power of words – give her lots of time to read books and to write in journals.

10. Encourage your daughter to read the Bible every day. If she can grab a vision for the power of the Word of God – you will have done your job, dear Mom.  The Bible is able to do what you are not able to do. The Holy Spirit is able to speak to your daughter when you are far away. You will never give her a greater gift than the gift of loving God’s Holy Word.

It is vital that we raise a generation of women who are convinced that their worth comes not from their weight, their age, their IQ or their income – but that their worth comes from their Creator. 

Thanks for listening to my heart this week.  As you know by now, my heart is truly not a perfect heart but it is a heart that is filled to overflowing with gratitude for the life I have been given and for the people who walk with me.  And, it continues to be a heart that is relentlessly chasing after God and all that He is!