A Better Yes

I am not sure what the world outside your window looks like where you live right now … but where I live everything is dead and brown. 

There are no leaves on most trees … the grass has transformed itself into an ugly shade of beige and olive green. The gardens are all barren and filled with the lifeless leaves of summer’s former glory. 

I look out my window where there were formerly flowers … and now I see naked branches and desolate limbs.

Where did the beauty go? Where has the splendor gone?

I reminded myself early this morning, as I traipsed through the stark reality of November, that I should not be fooled by what I don’t currently see in the natural. 

You see, my friend, although much of nature has shed its summer vibrancy, it is still there … waiting to be revealed again at the first sign of spring.

It is still there … the glory is still there. 

The arid and parched scenery of November won’t last forever … a resurrection will happen! 

Indeed … it will happen.

Life is much like November, isn’t it? 

There are seasons of growth and rebirth … and there are also seasons of desolation and disappointment. 

I don’t know what season you are in today, but if you are currently slogging through the wilderness of November, remind yourself that it won’t last forever! 

Resurrection is on the way. 

The reason that I wrote my new book, “Vibrant: Developing a Deep and Abiding Joy for All Seasons”, was to remind all of us that we don’t have to be defined by our circumstances or by our season in life. Although your life might be currently pain-filled and parched, the Father has a vibrant lifestyle for you to cling to and to reveal to the world around you.

So, today, in this middle week of November 2020, I’d like to share with you just a short portion of my new book in hopes that it will be a source of joy and refreshing to you.

Read on … and be filled with the promise of hope! 

“I was raised in an extremely strict Christian home by an incredibly fun mother. 

Does that seem like a contradiction in terms to you? 

Mom made it easy for me to love the Lord and cope with the “thou shalt not’s” in our home because she was always stirring up joy and celebration. 

In my young adult years, as we were discussing the way that she had raised me, she told me that whenever she had to say no to me as a child or as a teenager, she always tried to say a better yes.  

“No, you can’t go to that party,” she would say as a grin captured her face, “but how would you like have some friends over here instead?”

“No, you can’t wear that short skirt,” she would quietly insist, “but I’d love to buy you something more appropriate.”

“No, you can’t listen to that music,” she would coach me, “but I’d love to listen to some music together so we can find something to agree on and then I’ll treat you to a new piano book.”

I surmise that this is what Paul is doing in this final verse of Ephesians 4. He has told us that bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, slander, and malice are not options for us—but he has a better yes!

Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you. —Ephesians 4:32

I have a challenge for you today. 

Make a list of the qualities that you wish you had in a best friend. 

Would you want this friend to be a good listener? A servant? Have a good sense of humor? To be kind? 

After you have made your list, then you become that person! 

You become the friend that you wish you had! Rather than waiting impatiently for some fantasy person to fulfill all of your needs, you have the power to become a purposeful and amazing friend!

If I were to make a list of the attributes that I deeply desired in a friend, I believe that Paul’s list, found in Ephesians 4:32, would match my list. 

And so, today, I will become that person.

I will be kind to the people in my life. I will use kind words and exhibit kind actions. I will even begin to think kind thoughts about the people in my life. 

How amazing to understand that the Father is thinking kind thoughts about me all day long! I must begin to think like my Father thinks.  

Kindness always takes the initiative and so I will be assertively kind. 

I will be kind to the person who waits on me in the restaurant and I will be kind to my mother. 

I will speak words of kindness to my husband and I will show actions of kindness to my children. 

I will think kind thoughts about my neighbors and about my pastor. 

I say a resounding, “Yes!” to kindness.

I will become increasingly tenderhearted. 

I will not judge others or try to control their actions, but I will be compassionate toward them and endeavor to be sincerely sympathetic. 

I will not think that I always know best but I will listen with sensitivity and understanding. 

I am humbled by the Father’s tender heart toward me and I will remind myself often that having and demonstrating a tender heart runs in the family. 

I will say a gentle yet firm, “Yes!” to having a tender heart.

I will constantly and generously forgive others. 

I will not hold onto hurts or petty grudges, but I will lavishly and generously allow the forgiveness of the Father to pour through me.

I will remind myself often that it is more fun to forgive. I will confess forgiveness with my mouth even before I experience it in my heart. 

I will be the most extravagant forgiver of my entire generation! 

I will forgive much because I have been forgiven much by the One who loves me most and knows me best. 

I will say a humble yet powerful, “Yes!” to forgiveness.

Paul ends his better yes with the words, “just as God in Christ also has forgiven you” (Ephesians 4:32).

Every character trait that we are called to embrace, every action of kindness or love, and each word of compassion or tenderness is a telling reflection of the Jesus in us. 

Think about it for a minute: you get to live life with the joy of Jesus! 

You get to activate the power of heavenly kindness in a human body. 

You are invited to live with the purpose of the gospel and demonstrate the character of God through every cell of your body! 

You are called to be a vibrant show-and-tell of what God is able to accomplish through one ordinary person. 

Now do it!

The years of our pilgrimage are all too short to master it 
triumphantly. Yet this is what Christianity is for—to teach men the art of life. 
—Henry Drummond 

Thanks for listening to my heart this week.  As you know by now, my heart is truly not a perfect heart but it is a heart that is filled to overflowing with gratitude for the life I have been given and for the people who walk with me.  And, it continues to be a heart that is relentlessly chasing after God and all that He is!