The Joy of Gathering

MEET BECKY HARLING

A Note from Carol: I love giving some of my friends a voice on the Joy for the Journey blog. I can’t wait to share this post from Becky Harling. In addition to being an author and speaker, Becky lives to awaken hope in the hearts of women by teaching them to encounter the Living God through the Bible, embrace their identity in Jesus Christ, and experience the presence of the Holy Spirit through praise and worship.

Recently, I had friends and family over for Sunday dinner. Adults were seated around the dining room table laughing, joking and eating good food.  Children were running through the house, some playing cars and trucks, some playing soccer, some building towers with Legos. It was wild and wonderful. Some would call it chaos… but I call it connection! 

I paused for a moment and just savored all that was going on around me. Laughter. Cheers. Conversation. In the quietness of my own soul, I thanked the Lord for these precious times. 

Here’s the thing, God designed us for community and connection.  Those are the keys to a joy filled life. We were designed for deep connection with God and authentic community with others. 

The Apostle Paul wrote about joy or rejoicing 16 times within the tiny book of Philippians. What’s crazy is that his circumstances weren’t great. In fact, he was under house arrest. Some of us felt like we were under house arrest during the recent pandemic. But for Paul, house arrest was real. What was his secret to such a joy filled life? 

Paul’s secret was that he prioritized His relationship with Christ and his friendships with others, even while being locked up. 

There is a direct correlation between how much joy you experience and how deeply connected you are. Scientific research supports what the scriptures teach.  We were designed for connection. As we connect and enjoy one another, joy is stimulated in our brains and our happiness literally increases. 

In light of that, what’s holding you back? 

Throw a party this summer, or gather a few friends for dinner. Invite a friend for coffee or host a tea party. The point is to gather and invest in your relationships. Don’t know how to get the gathering started? No worries! I’ve got you. Here are some practical tips to help you:

Practical Tips to Help You as You Gather

Ask Questions. You don’t have to interrogate, but you can demonstrate genuine curiosity about the other person. Simple questions work well. “What’s the funniest thing that has happened to you this week? Where did you go on vacation last summer? What fun plans do you have for this season? If you’re in a one on one setting, simply, “Tell me your story” works great. Everyone has a story and each person is an intriguing master piece created in the image of God. (Ephesians 2:10). Learn the art of question asking and get to know the people around you. 

Serve Food. It’s amazing how many times through the scriptures the table is mentioned. We are invited to the table of the Lord and we are to host others at our tables. As we invite others into our homes and serve food, conversation flows mor naturally. Don’t believe me? Try it. Invite a few friends over and serve some food. It can be as simple as a charcuterie  board or hamburgers and hot dogs. It is simply amazing at how serving food opens conversation. 

I’ve been trying something new since the pandemic. Rather than simply taking friends out for coffee I am inviting them into my home for coffee. I have found that the conversations get a bit more real when we are sitting in the safety of my home.  If you study the early church in the book of Acts, you will discover they all met in each other’s homes. (Acts 2:46-47). They shared meals and prayers. They enjoyed deep connection and community.  

Affirm. People are dying for a little affirmation and encouragement, including your family and friends.  This is as simple as telling someone something you appreciate about that. Paul did this with the believers he wrote to in Philippi. He wrote that he had them in his heart and he was confident in them. (Philippians 1:3,6). May I ask you, who needs to hear that you have confidence in them? A good rule of thumb if you want deep relationships is be the first to offer affirmation and the last to criticize.

Show Up Humble. Paul wrote the believers living in Philippi that they were to have the same mindset as Christ who was humble. (Philippians 2). Did you know that according to much research, humble people are happier? Makes sense doesn’t it? If you’re humble you’re not always concerned with proving yourself. You’re more open to really listening to others. And, you’re more inviting as a person. So follow the example of Jesus and learn to show up humble. You won’t regret it. 

Go on a Girlfriend Retreat. Gather a few of your besties and head someplace where you can each relax. Share prayer requests, go for pedicures, take a hike, read the scripture together and simply enjoy each other. Commit to doing life together as you each seek to follow Jesus. 

Friend, the truth is if you want more joy in your life, cultivate your relationship with Christ and then gather to foster deeper connections with your family and friends. Make it a priority. You’ll be thankful you did. No one I know lays on their death bed wishing they had been busier. However, many I know have laid on their death bed wishing they had invested more in their relationships.  Here’s the thing, it’s never too late to change. Decide now that you’re going to cultivate deeper connections and watch how your joy increases. 

For more on cultivating a life of joy and gathering, check out Becky’s latest book, Rooted Joy. It’s the first in the Girlfriend Gathering Series of books designed to help friend gather.

To connect with Becky check out her website, www.beckyharling.com and be sure to subscribe to get the freebies she’s offering. 

You can also connect with Becky on the Connected Mom Podcast.