Taming the Tongue

Written By Carol McLeod

Has your tongue ever gotten the best of you?!  

What a perfectly ridiculous question!!  Of course, it has!

Do you ever wish you could hit the “rewind” button on words that you have thoughtlessly spoken?

Of course, you have!

If you are still living and breathing … and are still interacting with people both large and small … then certainly your tongue has said things that are probably unnecessary … likely unkind … and most certainly sarcastic.

Of course, it has!

I have found time and time again that my tongue needs boundaries.  

"Those who guard their mouths and their tongues keep themselves from calamity."- Proverbs 21:23

My willful tongue needs something much greater than mere “suggestions” to keep it in line.  

“God has given us two ears, but one tongue, to show that we should be swift to hear, but slow to speak. God has set a double fence before the tongue, the teeth and the lips, to teach us to be wary that we offend not with our tongue.” – Thomas Watson

This one-pound piece of muscle that exists between my pearly whites certainly has a mind of its own … and it requires boundaries to operate within its God-intended purposes.

The outright rebellion of my tongue demands immovable boundaries.  

My tongue has strenuously endeavored to circumvent and escape every single limit that I have ever attempted to spiritually enforce.

"The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit." – Proverbs 18:21

What in the world is wrong with my tongue?!!

If you are anything at all like me … and I have an inkling that you are indeed like me … then you have likely have found that your tongue also needs immovable, unshakable, unbending borders.

And so today … I will share with you 2 lists of verbal limits.

"Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen."- Ephesians 4:29

These lists have helped my tongue to operate as God intended it to and I believe they will do the same for you.

The first list is “10 Things I Will Never Say” and the second list is “10 Things I Will Say Every Day”.

Read on …

The amazing invariable about both shared lists is that each list will successfully function in parenting, in marriage, in the workplace, in the church and with friendships.  

These lists transcend circumstance and should be followed everyday of one’s life.

 TEN THINGS I WILL NEVER SAY

1. You are driving me crazy!

2. I might love you … but I just don’t like you very much right now.

3. Stop talking!  Just stop talking! (Often said through clenched teeth.)

4. I will never forgive you for that.

5. You are a liar! (Or any other unflattering name that comes to mind in the heat of the moment.)

6. Now that was the dumbest thing that I have ever heard.

7. I hope I never see you again.

8. As long as I live, I will never figure you out.

9. You are like fingernails on the chalkboard of life.

10. Who in the world do you think that you are?!

 TEN THINGS I WILL SAY EVERY DAY

1. I forgive you … will you forgive me?

2. I love you very much.  You are always in my heart.

3. There is no one in the world I would rather spend time with than you.  You always make me smile.

4. I love you AND I like you.

5. What a gift you are to me!  I think you’re absolutely amazing!

6. Thank you for trusting me enough to tell me the truth.

7. Wow!  That’s an interesting suggestion.  I always appreciate your input.

8. I am so thankful that you are in my life.

9. You are one of the most creative, kind person that I know. (Or any other encouraging adjective that describes the person as sweet, thoughtful, smart, brave, etc.  You get the picture!)  You are the best!

10. I am so glad that God gave you to me.  I am so glad that God allowed our paths to cross. 

And so, my friend, those are your boundaries for that slippery, slimy, hard to control piece of flesh in the middle of your mouth.  

Read these lists often and commit every suggestion to memory.  

Your world will indeed thank you for it … God will certainly honor you for it … and your heart will remain in sweet and abiding peace.

I guarantee it!

If you can live by the tenets of these 2 lists, you will go through life unashamed of what you have uttered in a moment of frustration and impatience. You will also be overwhelmingly grateful that you enforced these verbal boundaries in your life.

You can do it!

After all … it’s just ten things.


Thanks for listening to my heart this week.  As you know by now, my heart is truly not a perfect heart but it is a heart that is filled to overflowing with gratitude for the life I have been given and for the people who walk with me.  And, it continues to be a heart that is relentlessly chasing after God and all that He is!

Carol McLeod
Carol says, “I am just a girl who is head over heels in love with Jesus ... passionately addicted to His Word ... and find all of the joy that I need in time spent in His presence." Carol is a Christmas-aholic, loves ACC basketball and the beach! Like all menopausal women, she is overly fond of chocolate and enjoys a good read. She doesn't like cleaning her house and is an expert in carry-out dinners. She hates to shop … loves to jog … and somehow finds time in her busy life to hang out with small children. She is the kind of woman that you could laugh with over lunch, cry with over disappointment and shout with over a victory! But … if you need her official bio … read on! Carol is an author and popular speaker at women's conferences and retreats, where she teaches the Word of God with great joy and enthusiasm. She also hosts highly successful Just Joy! outreaches. Carol encourages and empowers women with passionate and practical biblical messages mixed with her own special brand of hope and humor. Carol has written three books, "Holy Estrogen!", "The Rooms of a Woman's Heart" and "Defiant Joy!" which was released by a subsidiary of Thomas Nelson. Her teaching DVD, "The Rooms of a Woman's Heart", won the Telly Award, a prestigious industry award, for excellence in religious programming. Carol has also been featured on YouVersion (the smart phone Bible app) with several devotionals, including: "For the Journey Set Before Him", "Jolt of Joy", and "Joy to YOUR world", " Carol has a daily radio program, "Defiant Joy! Radio" which is available in several national markets including Youngsville PA, Warren PA, Buffalo NY, Roanoke VA, Norfolk VA, and Nashville TN.  A 1977 graduate of Oral Roberts University with a degree in Music and English, Carol has the distinction of being both the first Women's Chaplain and the first woman to speak at the university's Vespers.  Carol currently serves on the ORU Alumni Board as chaplain.  She is married to her college sweetheart and love of her life, Craig, who serves as senior pastor of Life Church, a church near Buffalo, NY.  Craig and Carol have been happily married for nearly 37 years and are the parents of five children and three delightful daughters-in-law. Craig and Carol are thrilled with the joy of being grandparents to five precious grandchildren! Carol has written three books, "Holy Estrogen!", "The Rooms of a Woman's Heart" and "Defiant Joy!" which was released by a subsidiary of Thomas Nelson. Her teaching DVD, "The Rooms of a Woman's Heart", won the Telly Award, a prestigious industry award, for excellence in religious programming. Carol has also been featured on YouVersion (the smart phone Bible app) with several devotionals, including: "For the Journey Set Before Him", "Jolt of Joy", and "Joy to YOUR world", " Carol has a daily radio program, "Defiant Joy! Radio" which is available in several national markets including Youngsville PA, Warren PA, Buffalo NY, Roanoke VA, Norfolk VA, and Nashville TN.  A 1977 graduate of Oral Roberts University with a degree in Music and English, Carol has the distinction of being both the first Women's Chaplain and the first woman to speak at the university's Vespers.  Carol currently serves on the ORU Alumni Board as chaplain.  She is married to her college sweetheart and love of her life, Craig, who serves as senior pastor of Life Church, a church near Buffalo, NY.  Craig and Carol have been happily married for nearly 37 years and are the parents of five children and three delightful daughters-in-law. Craig and Carol are thrilled with the joy of being grandparents to five precious grandchildren!
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