I Choose Joy - February
I Choose Joy
- Becky Harling
The Keys to a Joy Filled Life
I remember the phone call from the hospital, “Becky, you have cancer and it’s aggressive. The safest treatment for you is a complete bi-lateral mastectomy.” My husband, Steve, was sitting next to me as I took the call and when he heard the word, “cancer” his face turned ashen white. We were scared. Fears pummeled my mind, “Would I be alive to finish raising my kids? What would my body look like after surgery? How would I cope with all the treatments and keep up with all the kids had going on?” Many questions. Few answers.
When I called my mentor for prayer, she did pray for me, but she also challenged me to spend 20 minutes a day for the next 5 days praising God. At the time, I thought, “What a ridiculous challenge! I hardly feel like jumping up and down and shouting hallelujah, I’m going to lose both the sisters in a week!” But, after thinking about it, I decided I would give her challenge a try. Every morning, for the next 5 days, I rose before dawn, turned on worship music and got down on my knees to praise God. I praised Him for His character and strength, for His love and protection and for His wisdom and the wonder of His majesty. As I praised Him a strange thing began to happen. God’s presence came close. He didn’t move but it was as if the Holy Spirit woke up my heart to the tangible presence of God. I felt His love in ways I never had before and it began to transform me. Fear was replaced by courage, weakness with strength and sorrow was transformed into joy. In those five days I became addicted to praise.
“..the joy of the LORD is your strength.”
Twenty years later, I continue to rise early, get on my knees and start my day by praising God. This simple practice has transformed my life. The truth is, you can’t praise God and not be changed. We become like what we worship! (Psalm 115:8). This is why worship is so key to joy.
I once did quite a bit of research on joy. I discovered that joy is primarily relational and that our brains have a joy center! I know, right? Isn’t that amazing? The “joy center exists in the right orbital prefrontal cortex of the brain. It has executive control over the entire emotional system.” It develops in infancy. Neurologists and psychologists teach us that when infants see delight in the eyes of their parents, the joy center of their brain is strengthened. In other words, when babies see their parents’ eyes sparkle and light up in response to them, they know they are loved and their joy center develops. “If the joy center develops correctly, an individual can find the path back to joy, in spite of the most difficult trauma.”*
My joy center didn’t develop properly in childhood. A victim of childhood sexual abuse, I experienced quite a bit of trauma. However, your joy center can be regenerated. As I learned to praise God faithfully, I experienced new depth in my relationship with Him and I began to experience joy to a far greater degree. In other words, my joy center was regenerated!
Strengthening your joy muscle begins when you internalize the truth that you are the sparkle in your Heavenly Father’s eye. Friend, God, your heavenly Father is madly and categorically in love with you! His Word teaches that He take great delight in you. He even sings and dances over you. (Zephaniah 3:17) His eyes sparkle and light up when you come to spend time with Him. It’s possible that you’ve never felt like anyone was particularly glad to see you. That’s not true of God. You are the sparkle in God’s eye. As you internalize that truth you are more able to pass the sparkle on to your kids, your spouse, your friends and neighbors.
Dr. Carolyn Leaf, a cognitive neuroscientist specializing in cognitive and meta-cognitive neuropsychology, teaches that “when we thank, praise and worship God, we prime our circuits for high intellectual function and every cell in our body is positively affected.” As a result joy and gladness increase and anxiety and depression decrease. How does this happen? I could try to explain it scientifically, but honestly, I’m not going to try. Science is merely just backing up what God has said right along, and that’s that you were designed to worship Him! It therefore makes total sense that if you’re doing what you’re designed to do joy and gladness will rise up in you.
My challenge to you is if you want more joy in your life, begin intentionally praising God every day. You might be wondering, how? Here are just a few simple ideas to get you started:
Turn on some worship music. I keep a play list of my favorites on my phone. Early in the morning before others are awake, I grab some coffee, get on my knees, put in my ear phones and begin listening to worship music. I allow the music to prompt my praise.
Keep a blessing journal. My husband, Steve and I keep a journal in the napkin holder of our kitchen table. At dinner we each list in the journal our top three blessings of each day. It keeps gratitude and joy at the center of our marriage.
Sing when you’re stressed. When you feel stressed or tense, start singing. You might be thinking, “I can’t sing very well!” That’s okay, because God hears in perfect pitch! So go ahead, bust out some tunes. God knew what He was doing when He designed us to sing. Science has proven what God knew all along. Singing is good for your health and lowers your stress.
Friend, I am living proof that a life of joy is possible even when circumstances are dark. Become intentional about praising God and watch how your attitude changes. I guarantee, you can’t praise God and not be changed. You will become like what you revere. God is a God of joy, so start praising Him if you want more joy in your life.
*James G. Friesen, E. James wilder, Anne M. Bierling, Rick Koepcke, and Maribeth Poole, Living From the Heart Jesus Gave You (Van Nuys, CA: Shepherd’s House, 2000), 12